Still, we learn

Today, we went to the optometrist. Colin was overdue by about 3 years, and I was overdue since 2013. We both need new glasses, and it is official: I am old. My arms are now too short to be able to read a book or even see my phone properly without glasses, and our new specs will be ready in about 10 days. I can’t wait.

Also, Colin has been feeling so much better again, in leaps and bounds. It is 12 days until the official 2-year mark since Colin’s accident, and I have been looking back at how much progress he has made. There have been so many wins.

Control freak that I am, and find it difficult to let go of things. This is never more true than when dealing with Colin. It has been difficult for me to learn to hear him when he says he is fine. Every twitch or facial expression is over-analysed and I replay every discussion or niggle again and again in my head in case I have missed something that will hurt Colin, or if left will cause him harm. Today, he wanted to go on his own in his chair from the shopping centre where we were at the Optometrist to the place across the road where we were going next. To be fair, it was not more than 1km, but it went over the road, through a traffic circle, across a busy road, and so on. I almost lost my mind.

I know he is able to do anything except use his limbs in any significant way, but I was afraid there would be steep areas where he may tip, or a car who would bump him again. Or… I was completely beside myself and drove to the place across the road in great fear and trepidation. He laughed at me, and said I worry too much. I know this is true, but it was exceptionally difficult for me to learn this level of letting go.

He is a bog boy, at 49 years old, but I really struggled. Perhaps part of my exhaustion and fatigue is self-induced because I worry SO much about every single aspect. I have to learn to let go.

Life is a journey, and if you are lucky, you learn something every day. Today I learned that I still have lots to learn. And today I am grateful for wheelchair ramps, maintained roads, Colin’s recovery, and my support structure. <3

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