Today I am grateful for support structures – friends, family, our animals, the nurses, the doctors, the paramedics, and the water in the taps.
Colin likes it when I put a cool facecloth on his head and while he has been in his coma, I have been doing this for him. To be honest, I am not sure if I do it for me, or for him, but it makes me feel better at least giving him some TLC. He likes it if I rinse the cloth often to keep the water cool since he is quite warm, so I have to rinse it frequently to “re-cool” it. There is a tap close to his bed in the ICU, and the Sister looking after him has explained to me that I need to rinse it throughly every day when I am finished with the special red soap. She said it may change the colour of the cloth, but it is important to make sure it is clean. To be honest, I don’t care if the facecloth falls apart – I am so happy to be able to so anything to help him at this stage. While he has been unconscious, it has been difficult for me to keep up my spirits, and I didn’t realise how difficult I would find it not knowing what would happen. He was in an induced coma in order to maximise the healing, plus he is on a ventilator so it makes sense; but we didn’t know what the outcome of the operation would be. It may well have not gone as planned, and he may have lost some of the feeling and little mobility he did have. The Doctors and Nurses and everyone involved have all been great – explaining everything to me, but there is always a risk. They are not always necessarily able to achieve what they plan, and I need to get a picture of his x-ray, but there was significant damage to his spinal column just after C5. It was pinched and kinked where the spine had moved quite far out of place; and there are no guarantees. it seems that it went well, because they have stopped the meds to keep him asleep, and he was awake this afternoon when I went to visit him.
For the last 2 days, I have been at his bedside talking to him, even though I know he can’t hear me on any conscious level. Today, I didn’t think he would be awake, and I was jabbering at him again – telling hims all the arbitrary news of the day, and he opened his eyes. It was a really good fright, and I started giggling.
He also immediately showed me that he could move his arms slightly upwards. He was so animated that the nurse came over and told him he needs to keep still.
I told him it was 4pm on monday – and he sort of balked at that – I explained he has been out for 2 days. It must be disconcerting not really know how much time has passed. I am storing up all this information to make jokes later. Watch this space…
I know that the road forward will be a long one, but I am so pleased that he is awake, and that we can begin to see what is what. I have never been good at waiting, or patience; and this has been a real trial for me. We are sure that he will go from strength to strength, and I will continue to update you all.
Love and light.
Can’t seem to get this pic to show. D’oh